Vladimir Build Guide

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Vladimir, the prick who shines in the sun.

written by Sureyoucan

Vladimir Build

Table of Contents

  • Introduction

    Vladimir is a champion that requires no f***ing skills at all. I don't know why I'm writing this guide because I'm pretty sure a half-donkey half-horse that got dropped approximately 12 times as a little half-donkey half-horse can win games with this faggot known as Vladimir. So for those really special retards that can't quite figure out how this prick works, here's my high elo (or low elo, whatever elo you're in) guide to Badimir.

  • Abilities

    Crimson Pact
    To be honest, I don't know what the hell his passive is, probably something about winning the game automatically after 45 minutes because you're going to have infinite HP and AP by that point.

    Now, THIS ability I know. Seriously, this is the BIG secret behind Vladimir. Let me fill you in on that secret... SPAM THIS B**** AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE AIN'T NO F***ING WAY YOU CAN LOSE.

    Sanguine Pool
    Oh look, another ability that requires skills to use. This is your "Stop F***ing Focusing Me" card or "You're Going Nowhere B****" card.

    Tides of Blood
    No f***ing idea how to use this ability, probably press it when people are around and you get a NO SKILL 100% HIT ABILITY THAT INCREASES DAMAGE IN EXCHANGE FOR A SMALL AMOUNT OF HP FROM YOUR 132165203 HP POOL.

    I don't even think this b**** of a champion NEEDS an ultimate, but hey, not my game. Use this s*** to piss off the other team and make them want to recall because this ability take so much skills to land and does so much.

  • Masteries + Runes

    If you haven't noticed by now, this OP piece of s*** called Vladimir is a mage. I'd go 9/0/21 but I'm not sure because I'm not a pussy who plays Badimir.

    Runes... Do whatever you want, it's not like it matters, Vladimir's a big prick who sucks cock to win games.

  • Summoner Abilities

    Ignite: Goes well with ultimate, if you want to be a bigger prick than Badimir himself, I suggest that you, his summoner, take this skill because it downright pisses people off.

    Flash: Bring flash because you can already get the f*** out when needed with pool and sometimes you need that blink to get over walls because you're not OP enough.

    Other crap you can bring:

    Ghost: Well, if you like watching a douchebag run really fast, take this skill.

    Exhaust: Don't know what the f*** you need this for because you'll kill anyone in 3 Q's because stacking AP = win.

    Clarity: Go ahead, you'll still win.

  • Skilling Order

    Really? Do I really need to tell you this? Ok, fine, for you idiots who want EVERYTHING spelled out for them, it's R->Q->W->E. You can switch up the order of W and E or do whatever the f*** your retard mind tells you to do.

    Personally, I just train Q every f***ing level. If I can't train Q, then I don't train s*** because Q is the only f***ing skill you need.

  • Items

    1. I like to start off with Boots of Speed and Health Potionx3. This really pisses people off, especially my parents who are upstairs because they can hear me all the way down from the faggot basement as I scream "YOU CAN'T HIT ME I HIT YOU BUT YOU CAN'T HIT ME!" Build that s*** into Sorcerer's Shoes because Vladimir's OP as s***. Unless you're a retard that wants Berserker's Greaves or whatever.

    2. For you pansies out there Rylai's Crystal Scepter should be next because now you can really piss people off by adding a slow to your F*** S*** OP Q skill.

    3. I'm guessing it's a no-brainer but then again for you to be reading this guide you must have no-brains, so I suggest getting Rabadon's Deathcap.

    From here, you can go 2 paths, that is you play Vladimir like how he's meant to be played, an OP piece of s*** that gets survivability from getting nothing but a s***load of AP items, or pretend you're playing someone else and build ACTUAL survivability items. But let me give you a hint, retard, the latter isn't too f***ing smart. So here are the items Vladimir will need for an AP orgasm down at that teamfight:

    Void Staff Abyssal Scepter Zhonya's Hourglass Will of the Ancients are all good s*** to take.

    For those of you basement dwellers that are familiar with that disgrace of a movie called "Twilight" and want to role-play and get reported for trolling instead of winning the f***ing game:

    Sunfire Cape is a must.

    For those retards who think getting HP on Badimir is actually pro, hell, just pick up a Warmog's Armor and shut the f*** up, don't comment on this guide telling me "OH YOU FORGETZ WARMOG'S HUEHUEHUEHUE" because I don't want to f***ing hear it. B****.

  • Summary

    Well, as you can see, Badimir is a one-trick b****. You press Q and then Q and then Q and then Q and at this point the person you're focusing is either dead or you're focusing the f***ing tank because you're a retard.

    Vladimir will ALWAYS win you that fight because he's a UP champion. If you die, don't hesitate to rage at the opponents and say s*** like, "Blitz no take skills to play huehuehue." Because it's true, Vladimir is the only champion that takes skills to play. Heck, you should rage at your teammates too, "F***! WHY YOU CHOOSE TEEMO?!"

    When you win the game don't forget to talk s*** in the after-game chat because using a hard-to-use champion like Vladimir and winning the game is quite the feat. Maybe next time you won't be playing in your pink, unicorn filled room down at your parent's basement, because you deserve better.

  • Working in the team

    Team? Who do you think you're using? Malzahar? C'mon, Vladimir is so easy you can Rambo into the other team no problem and take out all 5 of them, heck, if this was a 9v1 you'd still win. R then Q and E and W when needed.


    What enemy team?

  • Farming

    CS? What's that? Just reach level 9 and don't give a f*** if you have 0 CS or 98 CS by then. You're good. But for all of you paranoid faggots out there, just right click until around level 5 and then use Q to farm because that s*** will never go on cooldown. Don't forget to harass the opposing champion because you're a b**** who can't get attention in real life and want it in an internet game so you use OPWTF champions to gain dat respect from other Vlad-fanboys.

  • How to harass


  • Special thanks

    To RIOT for being a complete dumbass and making this douchebag of a champion for all them Vlad-fanboys to play and touch themselves to because they're delusional thinking that they're actually good at this game when in reality they suck a lot of f***ing dicks.

    Thank you also the the Vlad-fanboys who will hate on this guide because they want Vladimir to take skills to play even though he doesn't. So shut the f*** up and get a REAL champion to play, b****.

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